a lot of pain. a lot of growth. a lot of trial + error. a lot of allowing myself to be human. i learn by doing, i learn by feeling.
in the beginning it was all about feeling the emotions. next, it was about acknowledging them, witnessing, observing the emotions. then, it became a practice to not let the emotions completely take over. the rest has been figuring out how to regulate all of the emotions in a more balanced + calm way. for the longest time the image that would come to mind is a pendulum. one that swings so hard + fast when something/anything in life would happen. for the longest time i kept wondering when would i get a break? after all, i got sober to make my life easier. finally, i surrendered to the fact that life is not easy. sobriety is not easy. which is why most moments, i'm not sure how i do it. also why, with very open arms + a big heart, i welcome anyone on a healing journey whether sober, sober curious, harm reductionists, people in recovery, aa runaways. we're all fam. this work is certainly not to get people sober + keep them sober. the point is to heal. sobriety, in however you define it for yourself, is a bonus.
i invest(ed) a lot into my healing. therapy quickly became a non-negotiable for me. there have been times, for financial reasons, that i've had to cut back but it is very clearly an important aspect to my sobriety + healing process. i recognize the privilege that comes with having relatively consistent access to therapy.
my healing hasn't always been support groups + therapy. i believe in finding a combination of ways to heal. how i found my own combination of healing sources was by asking myself these questions repeatedly over the years + continuing to ask these questions because the answers can change for different moments + seasons of life. what makes me tick? what are my (un)heal(ed) parts? what are my joys? my visions? my dreams? what makes me smile, laugh, cry? how do i stay in the joy while still experiencing all the pains of being human in this f*cked up world?
fear used to be my underlying feeling. it is a daily practice to change that underlying emotion to joy.
if you're interested in applying some of how i do it to your own healing journey, book a conextion session! together we can find the combination that best suits you.
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